If the answer is to love God more, the question then becomes, “How do I learn to love God more?”
God teaches us how, through the sacrament of marriage. As I discussed before, marriage is supposed to be hard, because in marriage we are learning how to love, and in particular, how to love God. So by looking at how we learn to love our spouse, we learn how to love God.
- Knowledge of our beloved
- Spending time with our beloved
Time together is critical for a marriage. We spend time together every day, to make sure we are connected. We have dates every week, show how important we are to each other. We have longer, special times monthly or at specific events, to celebrate our love.
We must do the same with God. We must spend quality time with Him daily, in prayer. We must have that more special extended visit with Him, the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, at least weekly. And then there are the feasts, whether they are days of obligation or not, they are opportunities to celebrate with our Lord.
- Defending our beloved
Would you ever spend time with someone who disliked or even hated your wife? Would you stand casually by while a “friend” spoke badly of her? We must give God at least that much courtesy. At least that much devotion. We must make friends that share our feelings about God, and we must stand up to those who would disparage him. Otherwise, we will be prone to assimilating the negative attitudes of those not close to God.
- Finding couples to emulate
If we want a good marriage, we find couples who have good marriages already. We watch what they do and how they treat each other. Likewise with faith. If we want to grow in our love of God, we must surround ourselves with those who love Him, and we must try to emulate them. Otherwise, we will be emulating someone else.
- Reflect frequently on how much our beloved loves us
When we think how much our spouse loves us, we feel emotionally compelled to love them back. This is even more true when it comes to God. When we realize how much God loves us, truly loves us, we can become overwhelmes at the infinite nature of that love. It is love that can bring joy even to a life of great suffering. In the face of that love, how can we not love Him back?
To love someone, we must know them. Dating is all about getting to know someone, but it doesn’t stop there. Throughout our married life, we continue to share ourselves with our spouse. We talk about the present and the past, learning about our spouse as he or she changes and grows.
Likewise, we must continue to learn about God. To know Him more and more intimately. We do this primarily through the reading of sacred scriptures, but the writings of the Church and of the saints are essential to understanding what we are reading in the scriptures, fallible creatures that we are. Just as in a marriage we must learn about our spouse every day, in our faith life we must learn about our Lord every day, and if we do so faithfully, we will be shocked at how much there is to know.
Remember this: love is not a feeling. It is a decision and an action. It is something under our control. If we decide to love, and we act with love, the emotions will follow, in their own time. So, to love God more, we simply have to decide to do it, and then act on it.